Thursday, August 1, 2013

The 30-Day Marriage & Family Refocus Challenge

**Read through this assignment and modify it to fit your family, then have a family meeting, spouses only first then involve the kids and let them know why you are doing it and all the benefits it has for your family!**

The Day-to-Day Routine Factor:

Ø  Mornings: Each spouse shall alternate weeks to allow the other at least 30mins-1 hour extra sleep by taking on the duties or the roles in preparing the house for the day (i.e. Make coffee, lunches, walk the dog, get child ready for school etc…)
Ø  Goal of the Morning Refocus: Is to allow the other spouse the opportunity to either sleep in, do their devotion, have quiet time before work, or exercise.
Ø  Benefits of this Morning Refocus: Causes your spouse to be refreshed and prepared to take on whatever task awaits them at work and to also be ready and renewed to take on the night shift at home this week while the other spouse does the morning routine… neither spouse is maxed-out and everyone feels the load or duties are being divided equally

Ø  ** Try to at least once a week to have family prayer prior to leaving the house and play worship music every morning when you get up to set the atmosphere and order in the house!

Ø  Afternoon: Each spouse commits to contact the other at least once throughout the day (via email, text, or phone call) just to check on them only… nothing else… only after that communication has been done can that spouse petition the other for a favor or errand, etc…
Ø  At least try to make it a point in the 30-day challenge to have an actual physical lunch together… if not possible, then schedule to call each other and talk while taking a lunch break a the same time… There should always be some type of communication between the two spouses prior to coming home so that they both know and have an understanding of what to expect that evening.
Ø  Goal of the Afternoon Refocus: Your spouse serves as an outlet to talk to and affirm each other at the midpoint of your day before seeing each other when you get home… this also helps the spouse to prepare for the evening.
Ø  Benefits of this Afternoon Refocus: Opens up communication, causes you just to focus and to express love and meaningful things to each other while at work, which sets the tone for your home before you even arrive that evening… gives you something to look forward to each day and relieves stress.

Ø  Evenings: Each spouse shall alternate weeks to allow the other at least 30mins-1 hour extra time to themselves “me-time” by taking on the duties or the roles in preparing the house for the evening (i.e. Make dinner, walk the dog, homework with children, etc…
Ø  Goal of the Evenings Refocus: Is to allow the other spouse the opportunity to either sleep, do devotion, have quiet time, do homework/study, or exercise before dinner
Ø  Have dinner together as a family, no tv on, no cell phones, just family talk…at least one night per week you should have family night, which consist of games, movies, special food treats, or a night out for the entire family… it is most beneficial to do family night-in initially then end the 30-day challenge with a reward in going out for family night… also have family prayer night and devotion at least once that week…
Ø  Give the children time for themselves also… believe it or not kids need “me-time” and this allows everyone to have alone time and unwind from the day…

Ø  Bedtime: Should not exceed 10:00 pm for parents and 8:30pm for children…Prior to going to bed both spouses regardless of what has transpired that day should shower to feel refreshed before bed…Both spouses should alternate between weeks who puts the children to bed… NO CHILDREN IN THE BEDROOM… even if the child is sick then the designated parent should sleep in the child’s room…

The Nuts & Blots:

Ø  Must have at least one date night per week in the home or out of the home (i.e. special dinner, movie, rent a movie, indoor picnic, couple massages, etc…)
Ø  Focus on your marriage and do the maintenance that has been long over due… really focus on how to make the other spouse happy and really focus on their love language and commit daily to doing so.
Ø  S.N.L SEX NIGHT LIVE!! Really make a commitment to having intimacy and sex at least 3 times each week… this is the RECONNECTION of the REFOCUS!! Make your bed a sanctuary again… put romance back into your marriage… have FUN again… get back to the deeper level of friendship…
Ø  Each spouse gets one day to themselves… at the beginning of each week, each spouse chooses that day… in that day you get at least 4 hours to yourself even outside the home to do whatever… THIS IS YOUR SABBATH!
Ø  Release yourself from all other obligations during this time (30-day challenge) to give your full attention back to personal time with God, spouse, children… your home which is your first ministry- the greatest one.

Make it a point to share all domestic duties, and finally do those house projects and clean-up, do all those things you have been vowing to d


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