Monday, August 25, 2014

Self Confidence: Loving God, Loving Yourself, & Loving Others

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Sunday, August 17, 2014

The Power of Self-Confidence to Overcome Racism, Prejudice, Injustice, Lawlessness, & Hatred!

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“Racism is Inward Hate Unjustly Expressed Outwardly Upon Others!”



Tuesday, August 12, 2014

The Power of God & Self-Confidence to Overcome Depression & Suicide

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Monday, August 4, 2014

CONFIDENCE SERIES (PT.5)

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Self Confidence & Approval Addiction




The 3-Ds of Approval Addiction:  
Desperate, Devalued, & Derailed!


Your desperation is causing you to be devalued, which is derailing your life and destiny.  Your desperation is causing your unhappiness, because you allow others to devalue you and derail your life.  When you deal with your desperation, your lack of value, and your derailment, then you will begin to live the life you have always wanted.

Desperation is defined as a state of despair, or utter hopelessness and extreme recklessness.  Desperation is a state in which all hope is lost or absent.  The first D of the 3-Ds of Approval Addiction is where the rubber meets the road; it is the origin of your disorder.  The reason I call Approval Addiction a disorder is because it is a loss of stability and proper perspective of what something really is.  It is not in order; therefore, it is a disorder.  A disorder is defined as a lack of order or regular arrangement, confusion, an irregularity, and a breach of order.

Because of the desperation, the hopelessness, the lack of having self-worth, and the abandonment, you have fallen into the pit of being Devalued.  The definition of this word is to deprive of value, reduce the value of, and to fix a lower value on something or someone.  What you do not value, you will depreciate, and therefore, its worth will not be honored.  After there is a loss of hope, it is so easy for there to be no more value.  If you forget your own value, then the desperation will lead you to Derailment.  Derailment means to run or cause to run off course, to come or bring to a sudden halt. 

The state of desperation and deprived value will cause you to come to a dead stop in your life.  Desperation and a lack of self-value causes you to run off course because at this point, you don’t have God’s perspective.  You are depending on your own self-reliance to be your guide.  Here is a Big Secret!  God has never been desperate, devalued, or derailed and He does not want you to be either.


DESPERATION + DEVALUE=DERAILMENT
(Hopelessness + Deprived Value=
A Sudden Stop)

If in fact, you are trapped in the 3-Ds of Approval Addiction, there is a way out. Look at Jabez, a man in the Bible made famous through the small, yet powerful book by Bruce Wilkinson.  He entitled his book, The Prayer of Jabez. I want to call this the 3-Ds of Jabez. His desperation and his deprived value is what others tried to use to derail his destiny.  Many of us have felt the pain of realizing that part of our desperation was placed upon us even before we had a chance to speak for ourselves. They are stigmas given to us by others.  Some of the issues you have now are not yours, but they are from the people around you who failed to protect you.

“And Jabez was more honourable than his brethren: and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, Because I bare him with sorrow. 10And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, and that thine hand might be with me, and that thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested” 
(1 Chronicles 4:9-10).

God has labeled you honorable, because you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are beautiful and you are the apple of God’s eye.  Like Jabez, the name that people have placed on you that you have learned to answer to contradicts what God has already spoken over you before the foundations of the earth.  Jabez’s mother overlooked the honorable title that God gave him and instead placed upon him a label of her own desperation and hopelessness by naming him Jabez.  

This is the name she gave Honor. She called him Jabez, which means pain and sorrow.  This is Jabez’s first D (Desperation). I want you to know that you should not name your situation until it is over.  Don’t name it during the temporary season and during the pain, because you will leave a permanent mark that you will regret. 

Regret stems from making permanent decisions in temporary situations.  Because of his name, Jabez was made to live a devalued life.  Every time he heard his name, it was attached to pain and sorrow.  “Come here, Jabez,” meant, “Come here, Pain and Sorrow.” “You will never be anything, Jabez,” meant, “You will always have pain and sorrow and that is all you will ever be.”

This leads to the second D (Devalue). Jabez was in a hopeless state of despair.  I am sure he wondered, “How will I ever outlive this stigma and name that I have had to answer to all my life?”  The daunting task of overcoming it seemed impossible and caused the Derailment of Jabez’s life.  He came to a sudden halt and stop because of desperation and being devalued.  However, within Jabez was the answer to overcome the 3-Ds of Approval Addiction.  He decided to change the rules.

 Jabez stopped asking people and inquired of God. This is the answer to overcoming Approval Addiction.  Ask God, and get rid of the Approval Addiction from others.  Jabez said, “Bless me indeed.”  Jabez was crying out to God saying, “I know what it is like not to feel blessed, to feel like I am living under a curse, but Lord, please bless me.”  I can hear him saying, “Lord, I want to know what it feels like to finally make it and to finally be happy.” 

But he did not stop there. For all the years he lived in despair, devalued and derailed, he thought, “I want a double portion.”  Jabez told God, “Don’t just bless me, but enlarge me, and take me further than where I have ever been before.” Then he said, “Lord, let Your hand be with me, and keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain.”  He was asking for protection with his new increase.  Wow! What wisdom.  “Don’t just bless me Lord, but protect me in the new increase and enlargement of my blessed life.”  Jabez knew he did not have the foreknowledge to know how to handle this level of success. He told God he did not want to be grieved anymore and God granted him his request. 

Jabez decided not to be denied.  He knew that he did not want to continue his life as it had begun with the despondence of Approval Addiction (desperation, devalue, and derailment).  He went to God for the answer to his dilemma, and God gave him more than he ever had, more than others ever thought he would be, and more than what they ever did for him.  You did not have a choice in how you came into the world, but you ultimately decide what legacy you will leave.

*It is never too late to start being happy.  Make a plan and commitment to being Happy!  Live each day to the fullest and like it is your last.  Live God, Live Life…Laugh and Love Always!